I had a bit of an awakening the other night as I was going to sleep. I was thinking about life and how horrific it can be. It was Hurricane Katrina that brought it about. And this thing that I learned, that I'm about to share, is nothing new. It's been said a hundred times, at least seven seperate times to me before. It's in books and media and songs. Everyone says it and then other people nod their heads and agree and say "yeah, that's true, I know it"..but I'm sure that many people don't believe it. I've said it myself before, but I've never felt it, or truly believed it. Now that I know it, really know it, it's made how I feel about life different. Anyhow, this is what I learned.
-Life doesn't owe you anything.
-There's no such thing as Karma.
-Horrific things happen to good people.
-Bad people do bad things and nothing changes what they did.
-Life is difficult.
-Sometimes people have easy lives.
-Sometimes people have hard lives.
-There's no quick way to tell the difference.
I have always had a rough time comming to terms with the injustices in life. Especially when related to God. I've heard people say that they prayed that God would help them on a math test at college, or to help them find their keys when they are late for work and God has helped them. And then again, other people suffer terrible things that God could sooth by sending rain to desert areas of the world, or having a drunk driver crash into someone who deserves it rather than a teenager driving home from a late night at work. Why would God arrange things the way He does?
And the answer is that God tests us, and that we have to have faith and we never know what the eternal plan is. But I've always struggled with that, always. For some reason, I am not struggling quite as much now that I've had this realization about life.
I feel much more at peace, (as overused as that phrase is) when I say to myself, Life isn't a friend. Things are much more simple. The lines are clearly drawn. I now know that I have to fight with life, to wrest my happiness from it's grip. And sometimes when Life is busy hurting other people I can be happy just living in the Wasatch front and seeing the snow-capped mountains as I walk to the corner store to buy some milk.
A sad biproduct of this knowledge is that I have lost a side of me that I liked. I used to think that no matter what a person has done, that if you treat them kindly, they will treat you the same way. That everyone wants to be a good person. What naive garbage. Some people are just bad people. Some people will hurt people that are weaker than they are. Some people are out for number one.
So on I go, in my pugilistic little insignificant little fight with life. Just FYI, I'm winning.
8 comments:
While I agree with many things you said above, especially "Life doesn't owe you anything," I will have to respectfully disagree with a couple of things.
First of all, I don't think that God "arranges" for many of these bad things to happen. I think they just happen. Same thing with the good things. My view of God, which probably differs significantly from most of my fellow Mormons, is that he acts more as a counselor than an active participant in the day-to-day goings on of terrestrial life. This makes much more sense to me than a God who is running around causing disasters and finding people's keys. I have definitely received aid from God many times in my life, but as I think back on the occasions, it was mainly in the form of council rather than actually physically affecting the world around me.
The main thing that I disagree with though is when you say that "Some people are out for number one." The truth is, we all are. This is something that a lot of people have a tough time hearing. I believe that's because it sounds bad at the front, but it's not. We all do what we think is best for ourselves. Fortunately, most people understand that the best thing for oneself is the success of the whole (refer to the example of Governing Dynamics from A Beautiful Mind). I still believe that if you are nice to another person, that they are likely to treat you nicely. We all feel the urge to be nice when we ourselves are around nice people. It's contagious. Just some people are strong enough to resist those urges. I don't believe that their are "bad" people. Nor do I believe in the existance of "good" people, just in people that do good and bad things. Some do more bad than good, but that doesn't mean that they change. They're not "bad" people.
Looking back on what I've written, I'm not so sure it disagrees with your article afterall. In any case, it was just some thoughts I had that had been sparked by your article.
Thank you for your comments. We might have to agree to disagree about there existing "good" people and "bad" people. However, the stronger you diagree the more I tend to think that you are hiding the fact that you yourself are a "bad" person...shame.
This then begs the question of whether you, Sara, are a "good" person or a "bad" person.
If you are a "good" person, then why do you do bad things sometimes. I'm not talking about accidently hurting someone's feelings with a misplaced word. I'm saying, why do you sometimes knowingly and purposefully hurt people? We all do it.
On the other hand, if you are a "bad" person, then why do you do good things sometimes. Why do you perform altruistic acts of service? Why do you aid people when there is nothing but the positive feeling to gain in return?
It's hard to categorize people as "good" and "bad". Can people cross over from "bad" to "good"? And if so, doesn't that make them "good" from the outset, because how could a "bad" person who does only "bad" things do sufficient "good" to make them cross over. Alternatively, if we cannot cross over, are we born with our alignment already decided? If so, that makes God a monster, which I do not believe. Or is there a grace period where our alignment is being decided and it isn't until after our eighth birthday that we actually decide whether to be "good" or "bad".
For me, such a polarizing interpretation doesn't make logical sense when taken to its natural consequences.
I recognize what you're saying, but still disagree. I think that all people are born as good people. However, there are some things that a person can do, horrble things that change who they are. If someone purposefully hurts someone else very badly, (and I don't mean just keying their car or punching someone in a fistfight) then something changes inside of them. And if they don't feel remorse and they do it again, something changes about who they are inside. They are now a bad person.
Can they become a good person?
No. There are certain things you can't come back from.
Have you read "Man's Search for Meaning?" He gives some good examples to the contrary. Of course you could always argue that if someone becomes a good person, they just hadn't crossed the line in the first place. That strikes me as a slightly impetuous argument though.
I wouldn't dream of making that argument. Impetuosity...disgusting.
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