Pregnancy in Japan, weeks 12-15

April 15, 2012

Now that I’m getting to the tail end of the first trimester, some of my pregnancy symptoms are supposed to be waning.  “Supposed to” being the operative word.  Before moving on, you should know that my husband and I are both staunchly atheist.  We both believe in logic, science, and thinking things through rather than lucky charms.   We don’t worry about Friday the 13^th, we don’t follow our astrological signs, we don’t believe in karma or the Earth spirit, or ghosts, and we don’t worry about jinxing things.  Except….maybe I do believe in jinxing things, even though I try not to. 

I’ve been having real issues with my runny nose lately.  I thought maybe it was adult onset hay fever—brought on by the beautiful cherry blossoms—or an extended cold.  I didn’t have a sore throat (except after sleeping with my mouth open all night) or achy body, or any of the other signs of a cold, and I kept thinking it would clear up soon.  Well, I made the mistake of bragging to someone how easy my pregnancy was.  I had light morning sickness for about three weeks, and never actually vomited, just felt queasy till I ate something.  I had tender nipples for two months, and I was pretty tired for two months….end of list.  They were very manageable symptoms.  Almost immediately after bragging about my easy pregnancy, my runny nose got worse.  I was filling an entire garbage can at work with my used tissues (still am, in fact).  I had to be careful in case it looked like someone wanted to come and talk with me because in the 30 seconds it took us to resolve the issue, my nose would drip  down to my chin.  Ewww.  Some quick google searching told me what I have, “rhinitis of pregnancy.”   It will only get worse as the pregnancy progresses, and it won’t go away till two weeks after baby comes out.  I asked the doctor about it at my last visit and got the response of, “sho ga nai.”  (It can’t be helped.)

April 30

I’ve been reading a lot of baby books lately and lots of giving birth in Japan blogs and thinking about this whole giving birth in Japan thing. 

http://www.japanfamilyguide.com/index.php/having-a-baby/9-the-guide-to-having-a-baby-in-japan

http://www.alientimes.org/Main/PregnancyAndGivingBirthInJapan

http://blue_moon.typepad.com/blue_lotus/2010/08/cultural-differences.html

http://www.globalcompassion.com/japan-birth.htm

http://industriousants.wordpress.com/making-babies-abroad/

What I’m realizing more and more is that everything will probably be fine and I don’t need to worry about things.  I was so worried about the differences between Japan and America and trying to learn everything there is to know about the way things are done in America so I can do it the exact same way here.  I was reading differences between America and Japan in everything from routine episiotomy to weight gain to hospital stay to diet.   Although I tried to look at everything in a neutral viewpoint, of course I tended to side with American viewpoints most of the time.  It’s all I know from parents, friends, books, etc.   I started to stress out that I wouldn’t be able to control everything and that the nurses might insist on giving baby some sugar water in a bottle when I want to exclusively breastfeed and I’ve read that the babies don’t latch on as well if you introduce bottles before the breast!  And I insist on having Jon sleep in my room with me during the hospital stay!  I want my birth plan followed to a T!  I want, I need, I insist… and on and on and on. 

Well, I took a deep breath and decided on my pregnancy and newborn baby mantra—everything is going to be just fine.  Chill out.    If the doctor wants to do a C-section…well, that’s why she/she is the doctor.  If the Japanese pregnancy books says to gain only 15 to 26 pounds, while my “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” book says gain 25 to 35 pounds, well, I’ll aim for 25 then and not worry if I come in a little lighter or heavier.   (At 14 weeks, I’ve lost 4 pounds simply from trying to eat healthier foods and giving up alcohol.)

We went and visited a friend who just had her baby girl in the hospital.  This friend knew we were expecting and I had gone to her with lots of pregnancy questions.  When I asked her about epidurals, she was pretty skeptical, worrying about danger to the baby.  She planned to give birth without one at a “Lady’s Clinic.”  A Lady’s Clinic is the small hospital devoted entirely to childbirth, like the first hospital we had gone to, so her experience would be different than mine will be in an actual hospital, and much more expensive.  Most women in Japan, give birth in Lady's Clinics. Her clinic was like a ritzy bed and breakfast with gilded furniture in her room and delicious homemade meals served in a parlor with all the new mothers eating together while the nurses take care of the newborns.  She stayed about a week and we visited five days after she had her baby.   My friend looked really good, not too tired or stressed out and her baby was adorable and mostly quiet.  We talked about the birth a little bit and that’s where it got scary.  She had had 30 hours of labor and said that it was terrible and painful and exhausting.  By the end she was begging for a c-section but the nurses and doctors just told her to try hard and eventually the baby came out.   It sounded a little like she might have taken that epidural if she could go back in time. 

 It was really reassuring to hold the baby because I’ve been having lots of bad dreams about dropping T-Rex or bumping his/her head.  Sitting and holding the baby without anything going wrong was nice.   One uncomfortable thing was that people kept talking about how beautiful Jon and my baby will be.  We have white skin, blond hair, blue eyes, what could go wrong?  This is a pretty common thing in Japan, your white skin and light hair and light eyes make you beautiful, no matter what you look like.   It makes me pretty uncomfortable, and I’ve blogged about it before.  Anyhow, her baby was just beautiful and perfect with soft black hair and cute little fingers and toes and a tiny little button nose.  As soon as we walked in, I noticed dad finishing up with changing a diaper!  This was the same guy who said changing diapers was the wife’s duty, so I was relieved to see that he had obviously been joking about that.