Tuesday, December 12, 2006

The worse film ever.

I used to hate the two following films...¨Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow¨ and ¨Spirit, Stallion of the Cimeron.¨ However, I saw a movie the other day that completly blew them out of the water. It´s called Recoil, and here´s the plot summary copied from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0127751/plotsummary.

¨Detective Ray Morgan accidentally kills the son of a mob boss. The mob boss orders to have Morgan killed unknowing that the assassin killed Morgan's wife and kids. Now Morgan's out for revenge..and he'll do it his own way.¨

I was taking a trip with my new boyfriend for a bit of relaxation and we were taking the night bus from Quito to Puerto Lopez, a mere 10 hour bus journey. The bus journey was a whole other experience, and I shouldn´t blame the movie, but I can´t help it. First of all, they don´t have lights in the buses here, and anyone who has spent any time with me at all knows that I love reading more than almost anything else in life except food. So it´s 8 o´clock at night and too early to sleep, but too dark to read. Plus they put the air conditioning on so strong on all the buses. Every single bus, I have no idea why. And people know that it´s going to happen, so you´re going from one hot destination on the ecuator to another even hotter destination on the ecuator, and everyone has to pack winter jackets and hats and blankets. Not kidding.
So 10 o´clock rolls around and I´m freezing, but feeling like maybe I could go to sleep now and wake up when the bus rolls into the beach. However, at this point they put on movie. Not just any movie, but ¨Recoil.¨ The worst movie ever made. It begins with a 30 minutes bank robbery and car chase. No less then like 30 people die, and it is just so stupid. It tries to be emotional and tries to get you to care about the characters, but they really don´t have time for it in between the car crashes and bullets flying. And this isn´t the movie´s fault but the sound system in the bus was so bad I couldn´t tell if it was in English or had been dubbed into Spanish. And it was sooooo loud. CHCHCHCHCKKKKKKKTTTTTTSHSHSHSKKKKKKKKTTKTTKGGKKKK, was all you could hear for the next two hours. The sounds still comes back to me when I close my eyes. It was the first time that poor ChanHee had seen me really angry. It was just so stupid and pointless and loud and impossible to ignore. I think about my screenwriting class and how many really good screenplays my fellow students wrote, and how probably none of them will get made into movies, and this pile of garbage, this rediculous excuse for words pooped onto a page gets the budget for a film. I was just furious that enough people existed in the world that would like this type of thing, it made me want to pee my pants. Why? I don´t know.

I was just so violently enraged by the needlessness of the whole situation. I had to pee, they had locked the bathroom, it was freezing cold, it was so loud I couldn´t even understand what ChanHee was trying to say to calm me down, and the movie was so infantile and stupid and such a waste of human resources. I can´t even fully express how angry I was and how stupid this film is. Please never watch it. Never in any way support anything that has to do with this film.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Worse than "Sky Captain," huh? That's pretty bad. I am very sorry that you were traumatized so.